|New book! New book! New book!|
The opening scene with the Dursleys is some of the most absurdly hilarious stuff JK has ever written, I mean when Harry, ever so innocently, says "You've forgotten the magic word" all hell breaks loose...
"Dudley gasped and fell off his chair with a crash that shook the whole kitchen; Mrs Dursley gave a small scream and clapped her hands to her mouth; Mr Dursley jumped to his feet, veins throbbing in his temples."
And then it ramps up to 10,000 when they go through their plans to woo the Masons. Dudley's simpering "We had to write an essay about our hero at school, Mr Mason, and I wrote about you" and his parent's subsequent reactions had me choking on my snacks. T
The only thing more over the top in CoS is the one and only Gilderoy Lockhart! He's so pretentious, and ridiculous, and wonderful. It's like JK decided after that intro scene that she just wanted to throw subtly to the wind and go all the way out there with this one. I love how he seems to value Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile award over everything - even Harry's small little achievement surviving Voldemort doesn't surpass it. And who else could manage to remain smug even after reducing a student's arm to jelly?
|Which guy? This guy!|
*On p37 Percy is absolutely spending his time locked in his room masturbating.
*Mr Weasley is grown up Neville.
*I hope the earmuffs they use around the Mandrakes are charmed, because I've never worn a pair that completely block out sound. Especially the fluffy kind.
*Can Lockhart do *any* spells?
*Filch's office is right out of 50 Shades of Gray.
*How do ghosts write and send letters?
*Maybe if they had more than 4 Quidditch matches a year, Harry wouldn't be so determined to play when a bludger is trying to crush his skull.
I'll be seeing you in the comments dudettes (and dudes?), but until then;