Friday, June 14, 2013

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Readalong post 4 *SOB*

So I had all these plans to write about the characters and the info dump chapters and ask questions about whether certain things mean certain other things and then I got to the unimaginable shriek of grief that McGonagall made when they all thing Harry is dead and woooooshhhhhh every plan for a coherent post went the way of a fizzing whizbee.

I greatly appreciate JKR's attempt to add some Looney Tunes funnies into the battle with the "Snape shaped hole in the window". It's not much but it's a welcome reprieve from all the deaths of my favourite characters.

And holy shit, death much? Since people always complain about how unrealistic it is that heroes live through battles JKR decided to kill EVERYONE.

Fred's death will never not kill me. I left reading this till the last minute and I was a WREAK yesterday afternoon. And stupid Percy, I know I should be happy that they reconnected and that Fred got to witness Percy's very first joke but but but Fred is dead dead dead. So I kinda still hate Percy and wish he'd died instead. Stupid Percy.

And Lupin and Tonks. I detest JKR for killing them both, I didn't care for them as a couple but Harry Pottering poor little Teddy? I don't care about the mirroring of generations... Nuh uh, JKR, NOT COOL. Side note: Who raises Teddy? Is Tonks' mum still alive? In the epilogue which shall not be discussed Harry says that Teddy comes around 4 nights a week. So did he live with Harry and then move out? Or did he never live with Harry?

Voldemort's death isn't super spectacular which I kind of love, it's like JKR was denying him from the satisfaction of going out in style. But I also love how he's basically taken down by his own hubris. Silly man, did you learn NOTHING from having your spirit ripped from you body?

I'm so glad I didn't do a death tally, because ummmm, how would you have room for anything else in your post? Also, Harry notes that 50 people on his side were dead, how many death eaters died do you think? Did the Order and the students use curses that could kill or mostly just stun people?

But tallies are fun and since this section of the book was 99.9999% battle I'm going to do a badass tally. Beside it means I get to talk about ALIVE people and avoid the fact that EVERYTHING I EVER KNEW AND LOVED HAS BEEN DESTROYED.

1. Neville Longbottom.

Neville is Ash, Ash is Neville
He kills Nagini immediately after Voldemort set his head on fire. And that's just like one thing. He averages about 40 kickass feats an hour all year. He is amazing.

2. Professor McGonagall.
"if any of you attempt to sabotage our resistance, or take up arms against us within this castle, then, Horace, we duel to kill" 
Do I even need to add anything to that quote? There is no questioning the badass-ness of McGonagall.

3. Luna Lovegood

Did Luna even realise she was in the middle of a war? Someone needs to work out how to bottle Luna's calmness and sell that shit because they would make a mint. And that scene where she helps Harry with his patronus? I want to tattoo her name across my heart because she is the greatest person alive. (How stupid is it that JKR didn't set Luna up with Neville? Can you imagine their kids? Super handsome, super badass, super fantastic, for sure.)

4. Mrs Weasley

Mrs W was always straight up the coolest, but her fight against Bellatrix and her ability to fight right after losing her son makes her a legend. If one of my kids died I would curl up in a ball next to them and never get up again. Respect.

5. Harry Potter
Except replace Pippin with Horcruxes.
Neville (rightly) gets most of the badass attention, but Harry deserves a sliver of that spotlight. His rescue of Draco in the room of requirement, his decision to go into the forest without saying goodbye to everyone, letting Voldemort KILL HIM WITHOUT FLINCHING and his monologuing while facing Voldemort part 2... Dude is a straight up BAMF.

And I think I'm going to leave it there because I know you guys are going to make me want to cry in your posts (damn you all DAMN YOU TO HELL) and I do not want to feel these feels more than I have to. You can't make me, JK Rowling can't make me and damn it I am basically a shrivelled up sultana (raisin to you weird Northern Hemisphere folk) from all of the crying.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...