Friday, October 29, 2010

An open letter to cyclists

Dear mister and misses cyclist,

 Bikes terrify me, I think it is the combination of being completely exposed without any real protection and traffic, hills and those horrible breaks. It's sad though because the idea of riding down a country road in search of the perfect picnic spot seems quite idyllic to me. You guys don't have that problem obviously, because I see you everywhere! All over town at all hours of the day in all kinds of weather. You're so wonderful and colourful in those form fitting leotard things, very festive and easy on the eye. You're saving the environment, paving the way for a healthy future and seem to give cafes a lot of business on Sunday mornings. For all this commend you.


You are not a car, you cannot ride at 100km/h, you can't even match the 50km speed limits so why do you continue to ride in the centre of the lane? Why is it so hard for you to stay to the left of the lane when riding along a narrow road along the river, even when there is a line of 15 cars trailing behind you? Are your lycra bike shorts so tight they restrict your ability to sense the world around you? And why is it that you continue to ride on the road even when there is a nice and wide bike path specifically designed for you two metres to the left? I think I get it, you feel left out, all of us with engines are roaring around the place and you're stuck with those measly pedestrians who only use their legs to get around, obviously you should be with us, the people with wheels and speed and stuff. But if that is what you want how come you refuse to conform to our rules? Why will you only follow road rules when they suit you. If I can't weave out of traffic onto the bike path how come you can? If I can't turn on a red arrow how come you can?

As great as you folks are I think it is time for you to make a decision, either you stick to the road rules (ALL of them), register your bike and join us heavy, unenvironmentally friendly fellows or you restrain yourselves and keep your multicoloured butts in your designated zone. No one can have it all, and even with all of your environmental and health benefits you are not an exception to this. So make a decision. Now. Please.

Yours truly,


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