O.M.G YOU GUYS, IT'S TIME FOR THE FIRST HARRY POTTER READALONG ACTUALLY-READING-NOW POST!
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| I feel your feels Draco. |
Where do I start? How about with those wonderful opening lines;
Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.Christ on a cracker Ms Rowling, you sure know how to reawaken my not-so-dormant love for this series. BUT, aside from that line I'm pretty MEH about the next few dozen pages.
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Anyway, my re-read started during the wicked awesome readathon we all took part in last weekend, and because everyone was tweeting up a storm (as I was) I found myself querying things more than I normally would.
Case in point, what is the deal with wizards and toilets? I mean, they all seem to have a pretty insane time dealing with dressing like a regular person - so do they have magic plumbing that just disappears it all and turns it into compost? Or is this the one thing from the muggle world they took up? Does this mean they have to hire muggle plumbers when Peeves clogs a toilet up with stuff, or is there a squib somewhere with the unfortunate job of managing the wizard world's toilets?
I know this sounds mental, BUT I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT THIS SINCE SUNDAY AND I'M ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND. *eye twitch*
Also, how old are Petunia and Vernon in the first chapter? We know (thanks to the final book) that James and Lily were 21 when they died (I SWEAR THIS ISN'T A SPOILER FIRST READ GUYS) but how flippin' old do Petunia and Vernon sound? Like, can you imagine being friends with them? It would be the absolute WORST. Guys, there is no way they would ever approve of our gif use, never.
So ummmm, to wrap up - magic is awesome, Diagon Alley needs to exist, Hermione is a bossy pain, Malfoy is puny and Neville is adorable. I can't wait for next week when we can discuss quidditch, and Christmas, and the mirror of Erised, and Norbert and the absurdity of sending kids into the Forbidden Freaking Forest for detention.
Until then, if anyone would like one of the wands I made last week, then let me know because I am open to sending them to your pretty faces! I've already sent one to Laura, Tika and Nahree and there are more than enough to go around. Let me know fancy ladies (and dudes - any dudes taking part?).
*ahem*
Ahh, Hagrid's pink umbrella. It's so awesome. I love how Hagrid has his feminine qualities.
ReplyDeleteI think their toilets are just toilets? And I was kind of assuming that they just fixed them with magic, but the ones that Myrtle lives in is messed up... but maybe that's because she lives in it? Not quite sure there...
AND OH MY GOODNESS THE FOOD. I often daydreamed about having plates that would just magically fill up with food every time I sat down to the table.
I never really thought out the ages of the Dursleys or Harry's parents... I always thought Petunia was the youngest sister for some reason, maybe because she's all whiny and jealous? I obviously need to brush up on stuff on the HP wiki.
That umbrella tells you everything you need to know about Hagrid- it's so perfect.
DeleteI can't remember which sister was older but there were definitely only a couple of years difference so in that first chapter Petunia is way too young to be so goddamn boring and old.
You have definitely thought too much about this toilet thing. It's very possible you've thought about it more than JK, even, so nice work there! (I have no answers for you and I want some though!)
ReplyDeleteWHO KNEW that JLaw and Skarsgard had the same face! I am impressed that we both found the same face FOR the same issue! AMAZING!
Vernon and Petunia would never approve of anything we did. I'm pretty sure we'd ALL have to live under the stairs, together. Which would probably not suck, actually! Hahahaha
I think it's just the face of awesome - and we are clearly awesome by default for picking those gifs.
DeleteParty times under the stairs? I'm in! But only if we do something about the spiders, I can't be dealing with no spiders lady.
I'm sure someone else, somewhere, has pondered the toilet dealing. Hopefully? ?
Ugh, dealio not dealing. *obviously*
DeleteOh, the feasting! I neglected to comment on the feasting. How could i? I was totally surprised by how much I enjoyed the Dursley chapters. I've not re-read those in probably 10 year or so.
ReplyDeleteHow could you not comment on the feasting?! As far as I'm concerned #1 is feasts, Diagon Alley and quidditch. And friends. Lots of friends. Nawwww.
DeleteWizards and toilets, THIS IS WHAT THIS READALONG IS ABOUT! They do HAVE bathrooms at Hogwarts and they look like normal Muggle ones, but I assume they magic the stuff away. Maybe get stuff composting to help with all the Herbology plants? Wouldn't it be suspicious if this castle that isn't on any Muggle maps is connected to the country's sewage system.
ReplyDeleteAlso I WOULD LOVE A WAND. How'd you make them?
It's in the 'wands I made' link.
DeleteKEEP UP, ALLEY
I fail. I got so excited about wands I didn't notice links. YAY WANTS
DeleteWands for everybody! *Especially* since you were so excited you didn't notice the link!
DeleteTake a look at the second link and email me your preference (email on my review policy page).
I like the idea of Hogwarts being super green and just magic composting everything, and saving power bills by using candles and bewitching the roof to look like the sky. Maybe they're really broke because they only have 40 new students a year and their feasts are so epic.
Um, YES I want a wand. Those are badass.
ReplyDeleteSo excited for the Mirror of Erised. Omg I love these books so hard.
I find the mirror of Erised so tragic and upsetting, especially knowing what we know *ugly cries -something about socks -more cries*
DeleteFearless readalong leader you may have whichever wand you want! Just email/Twitter DM me your address and choice :-)
OH GOD THE FEASTS. This is always my problem reading, like, Game of Thrones, because they are always eating roast pig and roast duck and even hard sausages on the trail start to sound good to me. STOP MAKING ME SO EATY, BOOKS.
ReplyDeleteugh yes, it's always so much better than the left overs or boring non-roast duck/pig/refillable plates I have in my kitchen.
DeleteConfession: I still don't know what BAMF means (even though I think someone explained it to me once) and I'm scared to google it on my work computer. Whatever it is, Hagrid is wonderful and I love him and the fact that his face is all beard.
ReplyDeleteFeaaaasts! So great. It's like that scene in Hook where Peter suddenly believes and there's ALL THIS FOOD IN FRONT OF HIM. Except Hogwarts food is better because I imagine it looks less like playdough.
Can, can I really ask you for a wand? Because I want to but we just internet met and I don't want to put you out. (First thing I'd do with a wand would be to go to a place with those doors that open automatically and wave my wand at the door. OH MAN IT'D BE SO GREAT.)
You can absolutely ask for a wand! I made so many, and I really can't do anything else with them - so take your pick! Just email me (address on my review policy page) or send a DM on twitter with your address. And pick one from the picture on twitter - so you can have the exact one you want!
DeleteAre you still at work, it's probably not the greatest google search depending on where you work! BAMF = bad ass mother fucker. Which everyone is at one time or another, but Hagrid and Neville stand out as BAMFs to me.
Oh man I haven't seen Hook is so many years so I don't remember that scene, but yes to feaaaasts! And yes to Hogwarts food looking super tasty and non-playdough-y.
You MADE Harry Potter wands!? That is freaking amazing. They are so cool! *nerding out over here*
ReplyDeleteI never thought about the robes and the bathrooms, but they definitely do have bathrooms at Hogwarts because there are scenes in them in some of the later books (also not a spoiler, is it?). But I can't imagine going to the bathroom all the time in those robes. Then again, none of them seem to carry a water bottle everywhere like I do, and I don't think they have water fountains at Hogwarts like at most schools, so maybe they just don't go to the bathroom as often due to dehydration and/or magic spells?
Ha I hadn't actually thought about how much of a pain it'd be to actually do *anything* in their robes, let alone go to the bathroom.
DeleteI'm pretty sure they exclusively drink pumpkin juice and butterbeer. Or at least they're the only non-alcoholic drinks I can recall. Not the greatest diet...
OK now I can't stop thinking about the toilet thing. Whaaaaaat?!
ReplyDeleteAlso the feast, ugh, making me hungry without even reading it.
This post is full of awesome.
Thanka Belle!
DeleteI'd like to think Rowling Googles HP occasionally and she''ll come across this post and be equal parts proud and bewildered.
Mmm, feasting. The only books that rival HP in the feast department are the Redwall books. Those books made nine-year-old me want to drink cordial by the barrel (not that I knew what cordial was).
ReplyDeleteIf I were a celebrity, I would constantly be making weird expressions in hopes that it would end up as a GIF. I think that's what JLaw does, and it makes me like her.
I have not read these Redwall books but I approve of books (not so) subliminally encouraging you to eat/drink things. I think I also got a lot of my writing cues from JK, like using capitals for EMPHASIS.
DeleteJLaw is the best. My phone just tried to autocorrect that to JL awesome, so it's clearly fact.
The plumbing question is completely valid, but my issue is always when Harry actually goes to the bathroom. He never brushes his teeth (except once in book 7) or bathes (except once in book 4). I mean, when does he perform basic hygiene, or is he just really grody? And is there a bathroom in Gryffindor tower or is it just oh well, it's past curfew, hope you can hold it! And when does their laundry get done? Hog warts seems like a dirty dirty place.
ReplyDeleteAnd your wands are AMAZING. I would LOVE one, if they're still up for grabs!
Forgot to mention your excellent use of gifs! I laughed through this whole post!
DeleteYou can absolutely have one. Just email me your addy (address in my review policy tab) and I'll send one out!
DeleteAlso, I'm hoping Rowling just doesn't want to bother us with the mundane details- although maybe it's a way to get them to learn their spells. No showers until you can successfully transform a toad into a toaster?
DeleteMY WAND IS IN THE MAILLLLLL I am so excited to get home and check it and also sleep in my OWN BED with my OWN KITTY and not on the floor of my cousin's guest room (where I have been since Sunday) because my mom is in the guest bed. Snoring. AHEM.
ReplyDeleteSo, the toilet thing: I'mma go with straight up magic composting. Remember how in the future of HP, the Herbology greenhouse smells like growing things, which is basically code for "compost"? Done.
Ten points to the house of your choice for your excellent use of GIFs and the newly unofficial GIF Admiration Society mascot, JLaw.
The wand is easily the least exciting thing in that paragraph - own bed times are so amazing after a trip away- especially if you've been stuck on the floor. Also, kitty! Yay!
DeleteI think I can accept the magic compost and move past the toilet issue. I'm now frustrated realising Bill would have been at Hogwarts at the same time as Harry's parents- although in a younger grade. JK ROWLING, WHY CAN'T YOU MATH OR THINK THIS SHIFT THROUGH?
Oh man...I had SO MUCH TO SAY and then I read through all the comments and now all I want to do is hug everyone and say nothing at all.
ReplyDeleteONE thing I was thinking about with the feast was whether everyone's favorite food was ACTUALLY there. Because Harry was saying he'd never seen so many of his favorite things on one table, and then I thought, what if Harry is seeing all HIS favorite things but Ron is seeing all HIS favorite things, etc.? But that's probably too much thinking...much like your wizard-toilet fixation.
ALSO I saw the comment you left on my HP post because it came to my e-mail, but it's not showing up on the post itself so I can't replyyyyy. But YES, torture all the fictional children to make those moody teens do their chores. I approve of this.
I am SO impressed by your wand-crafting skills, and I would LOVE to have one. I can't think of a more appropriate keepsake to represent this readalong. And you are the best for being so generous.
After his childhood I'm pretty sure ALL food is his favourite food! But I've never seen a hint that Hogwarts skimps when it comes to food so I think the others would be well covered.
DeleteUnless they like international cuisine... not sure I've noticed many mentions of butter chicken or pad Thai!
My home internet is playing up so I've been using my phone and blog comment sections seem to send into a meltdown! Once it's back up I'll try and organise my comment on your blog.
And if you like a wand just send me an email (address on my review policy page) with your address and I'll send you one!
Yay Harry Potter! !
Me! Me! I want a wand. I felt bad asking earlier because we've only just *met*, but if you're truly sending everyone a wand, I would so love one! :)
ReplyDeleteI missed this obviously awesome twitter discussion on wizards and toilets and have no idea what exactly you guys are talking about...
I never thought about the feast like that, but you're right! And to think, Harry's been starving for like 10 years so it must have been SO amazing for him! It reminds me of the feast scene in the movie Hook which I also really loved!
Email me your address or DM it to me on Twitter and I'll get a wand sent your way!
DeleteI wonder how much weight Harry gained in that first month. Especially before quidditch became a thing for him.
I obviously need to rewatch Hook because you're the second person to mention the feast scene and I don't remember it!
Meh about the beginning too - it's a good leisurely pace to ease into Harry's life, but if you've read it all before, it's really long and you know you just want to launch straight into the Diagon Alley part. Prior to the Diagon Alley part, I did love how the letters were addressed to the Cupboard, the second bedroom, rock, etc.
ReplyDeleteAnd you mentioned that Lily and James were 21 when they died, which means that Snape would be 32 now, Alan Rickman, despite his charm and movie makeup, still seemed twice that age. Dang it, I wanted a sallow but young Snape for the movie.
I am looking forward to the wand, by the way! Sooooo excited, and completely envious of your witchcraf-er-er-... craftiness. ;)
I never had an issue with Alan Rickman, even if he technically is older than Snape should be and I'm usually all about accuracy. He looked great and his voice was *exactly* how I imagined when I read the book so I was on board pretty much straight away.
DeleteThe addressed letters were a really cute touch, although I have no idea how Hagrid had that kind of magical ability.
Hopefully you get it soon! The post office said it'd take about 10 days.
Harry Potter is my favorite story. When I get a time, I read the book. Thanks for share the post about Harry Potter.
ReplyDeletezoella harry potter