Discussion Post: What the heck does Jackson have planned for The Hobbit?

I can only guess that Tom and I were still loopy from the major food intake on Christmas day, but for some reason we decided boxing day would be the best day to visit the movies. Stupid. Stupidest idea in the existence of ideas ever. STUPID.

But one good thing that came out of it was that we got to see The Hobbit in 3D and the new higher frame rate (HFR). I know some people have been a little negative about this film but I flippin' loved it. Perhaps it's because I'm a mad D&D player and it got me eager for some dungeoneering of my own, or maybe it was a love for the LOTR series or maybe it's just a good film - I don't know, I don't care, I enjoyed the hell out of myself.

Don't look to pleased with yourself yet Bilbo...

But what I'm still not sure about is the whole trilogy thing. After getting back from the film I decided I had to reread the book. It was something I had wanted to do before the film, but I just never found the time. The last time I'd read the book was too far back to even remember, so my memory of the plot was spotty at best; Gollum, dragons, lots of dwarves, barrels, the ring and that was about it. So while I was enjoying the heck out of that fabulous book (sans songs: THEY SUCK) I was trying to work out where the next two Hobbit films would head.

You see, the first film covers the first 6 chapters of the book, which is roughly a third of the book. (there be spoilers ahead) Logically you could see them splitting it equally that way. Film two would lead them past Beorn, the wood elves and into Lake Town. It would probably end either with them entering the mountain or killing the dragon. The final film would then cover the war of the 5 armies and then the wrap up (which is loooooooong). The only problem with this is the additions and changes that were made to the first film, which basically means that it can't go ahead that way.

The biggest issues/obstacles are Azrog the white orc (a goblin briefly mentioned in the book) who is determined to kill Thorin, and the necromancer, who was mentioned twice in the book, but is clearly (both from the additions in the film, and the imdb page for the third film) going to occupy a much bigger role. Both were (mostly) welcome additions to the film for me, but they've left me basically gobsmacked as to how this whole trilogy shiz is supposed to pan out.

My best bet is that they still follow the basic format. The dragon dies at the end of the second film, and the third is dedicated to the war of the 5 armies, however they shift it so first Azgog has his showdown with Thorin and then everyone (minus the goblins and orcs I guess) has to unite against the Necromancer. Or maybe they keep the necromancer as a side story that Gandalf deals with alone while the dwarves and Bilbo do their business at the Lonely Mountain. I know that originally it was meant to be 2 films but Jackson was having issues with the editing (dude needs to go to a workshop or something) and split it. So it's not inconceivable that the story split between the dwarves and Gandalf is the way it goes - especially if there is actually another Tolkien story about the take down of the necromancer (in the Silmarillion perhaps?). BUT I JUST DON'T KNOW GUYS, I DON'T FREAKIN' KNOW.

What about you guys? Have a theory or two about what direction the films are going to take? Did you even like the first film? I need to talk this shit out, yo.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - Readalong post 1

O.M.G YOU GUYS, IT'S TIME FOR THE FIRST HARRY POTTER READALONG ACTUALLY-READING-NOW POST!

I feel your feels Draco.

Where do I start? How about with those wonderful opening lines;

Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.

Christ on a cracker Ms Rowling, you sure know how to reawaken my not-so-dormant love for this series. BUT, aside from that line I'm pretty MEH about the next few dozen pages.

 Even now, with all the love in the world that I have for this series, I just can't get excited until Hagrid tears shit up at the shack on a rock and completes Dudley's transformation into a pig. I mean, that's understandable - Hagrid is a straight up BAMF, pink umbrella and all (although if he was expelled in third year - how is he so competent with the letters and shiz?).

Anyway, my re-read started during the wicked awesome readathon we all took part in last weekend, and because everyone was tweeting up a storm (as I was) I found myself querying things more than I normally would.

Case in point, what is the deal with wizards and toilets? I mean, they all seem to have a pretty insane time dealing with dressing like a regular person - so do they have magic plumbing that just disappears it all and turns it into compost? Or is this the one thing from the muggle world they took up? Does this mean they have to hire muggle plumbers when Peeves clogs a toilet up with stuff, or is there a squib somewhere with the unfortunate job of managing the wizard world's toilets?

I know this sounds mental, BUT I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT THIS SINCE SUNDAY AND I'M ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND. *eye twitch*

Also, how old are Petunia and Vernon in the first chapter? We know (thanks to the final book) that James and Lily were 21 when they died (I SWEAR THIS ISN'T A SPOILER FIRST READ GUYS) but how flippin' old do Petunia and Vernon sound? Like, can you imagine being friends with them? It would be the absolute WORST. Guys, there is no way they would ever approve of our gif use, never.

The only other thing I want to mention, is how glorious the feast chapter is. Mainly because, food. I always wished HP would be real and I could play quidditch and make potions and wear a cloak without being considered a weirdo - but to be honest, it was those feasts that I was desperate for most of all. I know Christmas is in next week's discussion, but I've never been content with crackers since, and no meal, no matter how fancy, ever lives up to the intensity of that welcome feast. The plates just keep filling up, and it all sounds so tasty (except the stake and kidney pie - blecchhh) and THEN THERE'S DESSERT. If there is a heaven, it will be a HP feast. I know this to be true.

So ummmm, to wrap up - magic is awesome, Diagon Alley needs to exist, Hermione is a bossy pain, Malfoy is puny and Neville is adorable. I can't wait for next week when we can discuss quidditch, and Christmas, and the mirror of Erised, and Norbert and the absurdity of sending kids into the Forbidden Freaking Forest for detention.

Until then, if anyone would like one of the wands I made last week, then let me know because I am open to sending them to your pretty faces! I've already sent one to Laura, Tika and Nahree and there are more than enough to go around. Let me know fancy ladies (and dudes - any dudes taking part?).

*ahem*

Book Review: Mr Penumbra's 24-hour book store by Robin Sloan

Mr Penumbra's 24-Hour Book Store
Written by: Robin Sloan

Published: 2012

Synopsis:A gleeful and exhilarating tale of global conspiracy, complex code-breaking, high-tech data visualization, young love, rollicking adventure, and the secret to eternal life—mostly set in a hole-in-the-wall San Francisco book store.


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A few Saturdays back I was in a bad mood. I was in one of those god awful funks that come out of nowhere and refuse to let you do anything. I was morose and despondent and everything seemed like the worst thing ever, but it was 6pm and I definitely couldn't sleep. So I was mindlessly scrolling on my phone and noticed a book sale on the Google play store and amongst all the books you couldn't pay me to read sat Mr Penumbra's a book I'd seen pop up in a few TTT posts over the last month or so. Figuring 'what the hell, it can't be worse than this dodgy translation of The Phantom of the Opera' (more on that another day) I paid the whopping $2 and decided to give it a go. And while it didn't cure me of my funk, it picked up my spirits right from the get go and took me on quite the enjoyable ride. Not a rollercoaster mind you, but a ride that raises the pulse ever-so-slightly and has you running back into the line as soon as you're done.

Mr Penumbra's is a touching and captivating mystery that centres around a love of books, think a better written and more bookish The Da Vinci Code. After losing his job (THANKS RECESSION) Clay applies to work at a book store, taking the late shift between 10pm and 6am. Mr Penumbra's isn't just any old book store though. While there are a few copies of best sellers, most of the books seem to be one-off unusual books that don't show up in any book registries. Clay is forbidden from examining these books, and asked to make detailed notes of the patrons who come in to loan them out. Clearly such instructions simply lead to Clay finally giving in to temptation and cracking open one of the forbidden books. This simple act leads him on an adventure that takes him across the country and deep into both a secret society and the Google company.

Clay's joined by a crew of odd balls who are all creative and special and talented in their own, very specific ways. One of his housemates is an amazing artist, another is a computer wizz (with a flair for digital breasts), another is a wall-climbing PR genius and his sort of girlfriend is amazing at all things programming. It just so happens that these are all crucial to the success of their little adventure, but they're all realistic enough skills especially among Gen Y. But best of all is Mr Penumbra, who seemed like a little elf or wizard to me - but maybe that was me just projecting my excitement for the upcoming Hobbit movie. Not only is he a bookstore owner (therefore a veritable god in my world) but he's part of a secret society doing secret things, and is wonderfully kind and eccentric.

There are parts of this novel which are completely made up - like a 500 year old typeset known as veritazoon and a fantasy author - but they're wound into the story which touches on so many real businesses, authors and books that you find yourself wondering if such a typeset exists (it doesn't), or whether the fantasy author is a thinly veiled imitation of an author you might have read. However, it wasn't all good. There's this weird fawning over of Google throughout the whole book that just ended up weirding me out. At times I felt like I was reading one of those spam comments that starts out like an actual personal statement but then turns into a straight out ad trying to sell you junk. Yes Google is a huge company that tends to be interested in things experimental, creative and outrageous - but must you mention them so much Mr Sloan? Personally, I think the company should have been invented (similar to Google, but not Google) to weed out the weird 'Google is my God' vibe I was getting through much of the book. And looking at reviews online, this seemed to be a thorn in many a reader's paw. But whatever, it didn't weaken the book by much, and unless you're super anti-Google you'll probably just shrugg and skim those sections when you get to them.

So a pretty good book, designed especially for people like us, book nerds who choose to read and review books like they're able to actually quench a thirst and fix a hunger. Have fun!

DIY Harry Potter Wands

So like I mentioned in my earlier post, I had a ball with the readathon, mostly because it psyched me up for the Harry Potter readalong (like I needed much help) and encouraged me to take on this DIY.

It's super easy, costs basically nothing and at the end you get a fancy looking wand to wave around - you wouldn't believe the amount of times I've tried to charm my cat today. So if like me you were always disappointed not to receive that thick parchment letter in the mail, this will help you heal a little from that hurt.


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First things first, these are the things you will need to make your wand...

Some of these things, like the glue gun, paint and chopsticks are a must-use (unless you're crafty enough to think of an alternative) but the details - such as the beads and string can be substituted with any number of things - teeny 100s and 1000s size beads, chain, marbles. ANYTHING.

An acrylic paint will do fine, and generally doesn't cost very much. I used a range of browns and I found them super perfect for replicating wood (more on this later in the tute) but the absolutely crucial component are the paint washes.

I happen to have a very nerdy boyfriend who used to play a lot of Warhammer. This meant he was always painting models, and has a bunch of these special model paints. They're called washes, and basically they're a very light almost watercolour paint which coats over an undercoat. They'll stick into crevices and creases and add an aged look - which is especially appropriate when you're trying to replicate wood. These might be expensive (and not worth it for a one off DIY) so you could probably replicate it fairly well by really wetting your brush, getting a light coat of your desired paint on your brush and dipping it in water again.

Stage 1: Glue and stuff

But I'm getting ahead of myself. First you want to grab yourself some wooden chopsticks, the disposible kind you get with your Chinese takeaway will do just fine. Heat up your hot glue gun and decide what you want your wand to look like. My first one was the rope handle, all I did was add a squirt of glue to the top, added three little beads and then the end of the rope. Use a pen or another chopstick to hold the rope in place until the glue gets a chance to set (maybe 30 seconds or so) and then wind the string around tightly until you reach the point you want it to end. Cut it off and glue it down. Or you can just squirt glue over a third of the chopstick, wait for it to cool a little (it'll start to turn opaque and then mould it into a grizzled or specific shape. Or do what I did with the third one and add big drips of the glue all the way along and hold it upright so it sorta looks like wax down the side of a candle. Add a single bead to the business end of each wand with hot glue - stops it looking quite so chopsticky.

After the first coat of paint

Leave the glue to set for 5 minutes or so and then it's time to paint. Start with an undercoat, let it dry, another coat, let it dry, another shade (if you want) and then the wash (1 or 2 coats).

 In case you want to match any of mine, here are the colours and coats I used;

Rope Handle : Burnt umber base, burnished copper over the top, a watery layer of burnt umber to dull the shine and then Ogryn Flesh wash.

Full stick: Raw sienna for two coats. Raw umber into the crevices. Another coat of raw sienna and then the Gryphone Sienna wash.

Half stick: Burnt sienna for two coats and the three coats of the Devlan Mud wash.

 And that's basically it. Just keep touching them up until they look right, maybe add a few flecks of bronze or moss green, whatever floats your magical boat. Then once they've dried completely you're free to wingardium leviosa the shit out of everything you can find.

Mini-readathon updates and conclusion

So taking part in a readathon the day I get back from a holiday perhaps wasn't my finest idea, but it's a mini-readathon so how the heck could I resist? 

Because I'm on the other side of the world (and all upside down and stuffs) I'm taking part in this readathon at super weird hours of the day, and this isn't really working for me so far!

Basically this is how it's gone so far: 

1am: One hour till it begins, hmmmm, nap? nap. 

4am: WHOOPS. Shit, better get reading. 

5.30am: So much joy reading Harry Potter, but my god I'm tired 

6.30am: wakes up from another nap.

7am: Ugh, what the hell Kayleigh - get your shit together!

But I don't care! I'm going to finish Harry Potter damn it, and I've tweeted and commented and that's just as much what the readathon is about rigggghht? 

As for my mini-ness, I'm doing everything on my phone (a mini-computer you might say), laying down with my mini-cat (or kitten to the experts) and taking lots of mini-naps. I don't really have any mini-snacks since I just got back from my holiday, except for way too many funsize chocolate bars sold in one great big box. 

And most importantly, I'm reading Harry Potter (who isn't?) which is for mini people, about mini people and is the miniest in the series. And if I finish I'm going to read Smoke and Mirrors by Neil Gaiman which is a collection of mini-stories. 

I'll take the obligatory book photo and food photo once I'm a little further with my reading, because at this stage this shit is getting EMBARRASSING! Photo added, note the adult HP cover (boo! hiss! I know everyone hates these!) and the not even looked at Gaiman anthology. If you're wondering what I look like eating those delicious mini-chocolates, here's an illustrated rendition....

It was 4am afterall

End of Readathon Conclusion:

I disappointed Dumbledore *hangs head in shame*

So I didn't finish Harry Potter, but I did get half way through AND hit on several questions that I think i'll be discussing in my first readalong post. Expect a lot of confusion about ages and toilets - and suitable gifs to go along. 

Also, this amped me up so much for the readalong (take part you fools, it'll be giftastic) that I went out and bought the film series on bluray (on sale!!) and I'm going to watch each film after I finish each book as suggested by and discussed with Brie over at Eat Books. Anyone who wants to take part definitely should let me know, and we can try and arrange a mass watchalong on Twitter that hopefully is at a more suitable time for me! 

Also, I came across a HP wand DIY while looking for gifs and now I'm going to make myself one and one for Laura, and if anyone wants I can either document the making here on the blog or I can make you one and send it to your home and you can use it to flip pages as you take part in the readalong or float food from the fridge or something. Just let me know yo.

Anyway, I had a god damn ball even if I napped through most of it and I loved tweeting and meeting all of you and i'm SUPER PSYCHED about the readalong now. Like, unbelievably so. 

PEACE OUT.

HARRY MOTHER FLIPPIN' POTTER

Oh. Hell. Yes. It. Is. ON.

I can't even begin to explain how freaking excited I am about this readalong. Super-dooper-psychadelic-y-bazookas? That might be getting close....ish.

So me and Harry Potter, we kinda have a bit of a thing going on. It's pretty serious.

Every year (except last year for some reason) I pull out my old and food stained paperbacks and re-read the entire series, and then I go and cry for a week because it's ALL OVER AGAIN.

I started HP when I was 12 and I actually kinda hated it. *looks around defensively and hides behind the desk* I KNOW! I started it, got bored and skipped about 3 or 4 chapters until the action heated up a little and then I was hooked. I immediately re-read the parts I missed and then re-read the rest of it all over again right away. And because the second book was already out I stole that from a friend and stayed up all night reading that one too. And then I went on a writers camp which was my first away from home camp and I was home sick and cried because it was my birthday and my mum showed up with chocolate cake and Harry Potter 3 and everything was groovy once again.

So I guess HP has helped me get through all those not-so-tricky-but-seem-tricky-at-the-time pre-teen and teen issues, and was the glue that held me and my primary school best friend circle together. Together we thought we were responsible for the books success, since we started reading it when it seemed to gain international traction (bless!), and we came to school in year 7 and squealed about the chapters of HP and the Goblet of Fire we read the night before. We made predictions, argued about Snape's awesomeness (HE IS), swooned over the older Weasleys and rehashed absolutely everything.

So yeah, me and Harry are tight. I am also incredibly defensive of J.K Rowling when people try to discredit her or her writing talent...unless they're a HP fan too. If you've read the book a butt-load, then you can say you think X is wishy-washy, or Y is a cop-out - but if you haven't? PREPARE TO FEEL MY WRATH. But I am looking forward to discussing and fighting tooth-and-nail about my favourite and not so favourite parts of this series with y'all.

As for this delightful readalong, I am *so* amped up to use all my GIFS, and I apologise in advance but there will be a crap-tonne of  Snape GIFS. Actually no, shut up, I don't apologise, you might not like the character but the only person more GIF-able than Alan Rickman is Emma Stone.

Soooooooo yeah, I can't wait to read all the other posts and read all the books again and cry and laugh and snort and shake my fist at Umbridge and cry and convey my feelings via GIF and argue about Snape and Sirius and everything else.

LET'S DO THIS.